I’m learning very quickly that dancing is a way of life in Latin America but maybe just not my way of life.  My Spanish school attended a SALSA lesson which turned into a night of drinking when no on could figure out Adelante – Atras – Izquierda – Derecha. The basic steps seemed simple enough forward, backward to the left to the right.  It’s very possible I just don’t have rhythm or skill to master these steps but I’m continuing to get out there and try try try.  Our salsa experience ended at a disco bar that resembled a warehouse complete with three floors of dancing.  It reminded me of how people described NYC in the 80s.  Upon entrance, we walked through metal detectors and then checked our bags.  The people jammed the dance floor and I thought for a work night it was surprisingly packed at 11:30 pm.

Apparently, the place just started heating up.  Locals go to a leisurely dinner right from work and then head to the clubs.  Men were dressed in business attire sans jacket but did sport the loosened tie look.  The women wore fancy tops, dresses and 5 inch heels.  Everyone seemed to be dancing on the bottom floor, while the upper floors catered to people with table/bottle service.  There were tons of small groups socializing and drinking Champagne.  I don’t think Argentinians even need booze to dance the salsa and tango.  These locals CAN work it.  It’s not about pump and grind American style dancing either it’s all about hips, moves and smooth lines.  The party seemed to last all night but when William (my classmate) got wasted and I attempted babysitting it was time to leave at 2 am.   Ahh the life of a Portero(local Argentinean).

I finally started my “for beginners” tango lessons and I’m having a total blast.  It’s definitely much harder than it looks and being comfortable with my partner is an advantage.  I’ve had two group lessons and one private.  Frankly, it has taken me that long to master six steps.  Every now and then I have to bust out laughing especially when my teacher waves her finger at me saying, “WOMEN DO NOT LEAD–NO MUJERES.”  I tried explaining to her that I am aggressive and like to lead in Spanish and yep she thinks I am nuts.  When I am with beginner dancers like myself, I definitely start pushing them around.  I can’t help it.  A few times I have danced with William and I push him but it’s OK because that usually means he will step on me and the instructor will come yelling.  After four hours, we finally got a “mejor” from the drill sargent.

The tango is a very sensual dance.  I am twisting and turning in between my partner Pablo’s legs and half the time, he spends untwisting me.  I learned a hook the other night and it was great fun.  My biggest hurdle is trying to convince myself to just slide.  It wouldn’t hurt if I had a bit more flexibility which leads me to my biggest problem.  In Spanish, flexion means to BEND not to stretch. Note to self: When the instructor says hook that means bend, when he says flexion that means bend, when he says estira that means flex.  Ugh!  There are too many things to remember.  Since I envision myself sticking with the tango and getting much better, I am going to invest in a darling pair of tango shoes.  I will be dancing the tango in some old-fashioned roaring 20s type of place with my swanky shoes and fancy dress before I leave Argentina.  If that takes two years, then I guess I’ll have to stay.  It’s OK Joyce. Don’t panic.  It’s only a 14-hour flight from Chicago.  Dancing the tango is also great exercise. My glute muscles killed on Saturday.  I’m sure it has something to do with stretching my legs in positions they don’t usually go.

Despite being a bit sore from tango, I paid for the gym and intend to use it.  The classes don’t even start at my gym until 11 am, which I am realizing might be a good thing as I went to a movie Friday night and didn’t get home until 2:30 am.  Can you imagine going to a 1:15 am showing of your favorite movie?  It’s NOT normal (for me).  Anyway, I decided to take the noon kickboxing class.  I haven’t done a ton of cardio in the last few months so I was a bit nervous how my body would respond. Let’s just say in the first 30 seconds of the class with the song, Total Eclipse of the Heart, blaring more rapidly than I ever thought it could be played I was beginning to understand several things:  I probably should not have blown off the doctors appointment; if I took this class 3 days a week I too would be anorexic; I was the largest woman in the room; I really needed a towel because I was soaking wet; this might be my final day on earth.  Willing my body to move forward, I somehow finished the class.  It was worth it.  The cool-down routine was none other than the SALSA.  Here I could test out my steps.  I quickly moved to the back of the room so it would be easier to follow and then it became clear to me.  The entire room had unbelievable hip action.  I’m thinking maybe people in the US could benefit from learning the salsa and tango at birth rather than learning how to reach for the remote control.  OUCH!

As I mentioned, I started school last week. It was very exciting meeting new people and immersing myself in the Spanish language and Argentinean culture all at the same time. Now that I am in my second week, I remember why I never finished my masters. School is not easy. It is hard to go back to school at 35 and adjust to studying and being an adult. In university, the big decision revolved around what bar to patronize on Friday and Saturday night. I’m struggling with time management for the first time in my life. I fear it’s because I am letting my social calendar get a bit out of hand but that’s why I am here right?  RIGHT!

We are down to 3 students in the class. Ivan, the Holland Hottie, preferred the afternoon class. Of course he likes the afternoons, it’s really hard to party until 5 am and then make it to class at 9 am. He is 24. Can you imagine the problems I am having? William, the American, is up to his usual tricks coming late to class and continuing to pollute dear Ana with conspiracy theories and crazy ideas about the U.S. and the rest of the world. It’s entertaining to say the least. He caught the Spanish circus in his neighborhood the other day. Somehow I think he and the circus were meant to be together. I want to be Ana again maybe just for a day. She is darling so full of life and spirit and certainly the most knowledgeable of the group. I guess that is what happens someone is fluent in four languages. At 19, I knew one language and a bit of another –too bad that one isn’t publishable. We also have a new professor and he hails from Columbia. I find the Columbian accent a bit more difficult to understand but I’m getting used to it. Alberto came to Argentina because the cost of education is cheaper here. The masters program in Columbia is $13,000 USD compared to $3,000USD in Buenos Aires. That is a huge difference and many Latin Americans consider Argentina to be the premier spot to come for university. He would like to visit the US but he has been denied because the U.S. government has labeled him a flight risk. Why would an educated person come to the US to farm or work in a bar?  It’s not so uncommon for someone to simply want to vacation in the US.  Besides, he wants a real job and off the books in the States would not afford him the same opportunities he has in Latin America, which of course leads me to believe the idiot who stamped his visa application NO is a moron but that’s a whole other subject.

This week I am taking tango and salsa lessons. I will be much better prepared this time wearing my very uncomfortable but high heels to at least look the part. It’s rather unfortunate I will never be able to show off my new moves in the States. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable with their ability when I am around. I am sure you are all laughing because you know I will likely be the worst in this class but at least it’s fun trying. My only hope is that William is not some expert or I seriously might die.

As I sit here writing my blog, I am waiting for my laundry to be finished. Let me note this is the second time I am having a go at the laundry. Even the lavanderias don’t open until 8:30 am and I need to be on the road at 8 am for class. I mean seriously not even the laundry facilities open until later but rest assure Starbucks opens at 7:30 am. I am curious to see what happens with my clothes. This is a test run. I gave them the least favorite of my jeans (I only brought 2) to clean. You are likely asking since you are so crazy why didn’t you do it yourself.  I’ve scouted out every lavanderia in a 4 mile radius and self-serve doesn’t exist.  I had to drop it off.  Therein lies the problem. Before abandoning my belongings, I gave the woman very explicit instructions in Spanish: Usa aqua fria – no secardora (cold water, no dryer) for my jeans and delicates and lavanda regular(regular wash) for the other bag containing my socks and underwear. It took three attempts for me to explain my clothing needs and several habla despacio por favor (speak slower please) before we came to a mutual understanding of one another. I’ll let you know at 3:30 if I am shopping this weekend or sightseeing.

Finally, joining a gym here in Buenos Aires is easy.  I paid my money having bargained down the price for three months and told the nice man I would not be paying for a membership card since it was the club that insisted I have one not me.  I signed up a few weeks ago but only started my workout regime this week.  On Monday, I went to the VIP gym near my apartment with high expectations. Thankfully, most people speak English.  I had my picture taken for my card and made my way to the locker room. After I finished my workout, a front desk person asked me when I was going to make my appointment to see the doctor(I have 30 days).  WHAT? WHAT DOCTOR?  Let me give you a bit of role play in English(this was in Spanish). “You need to see a doctor to ensure you are in good health.”  I am in good health that is why I am at the gym. “In Argentina, it is a law you must go.” I don’t have a doctor here and I just saw a doctor when I was in the States. “Ok then he needs to fax us to verify you will not have a heart attack.” Ummm, no doctor would ever verify I wasn’t going to have a heart attack. “Yes, they need to say you are in good health.” Well maybe I am at the gym because I want to be in good health. Can those people not workout at the gym? “No, they need to be monitored.” Ok so how do I get the appointment? “The doctor comes once a week and gives you tests.” What types of things do I need to do? (I’m clearly thinking since everyone is anorexic here I’m going to fail). “You do things like jump and run.” Yep, going to fail!  My appointment is Friday. Just another thing I added to my calendar which I am now keeping since my memory seems to be fading with age and fine wine.

Off to study…..and maybe use the gym.